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Today is my 2nd day in working. Damn tired and exhausted on my 1st day, today still ok and not that tired.  That night I can’t sleep, around 3am or 4am jz sleep maybe I am fever and cough den can’t fall asleep. Fuck, everyday raining.everyday also wet wet bk home, damn it!!! 

This is little work I had done today. and some report and invoice.












Recently really felt my life is black and dark + scary. Hmmm~~~tired really tired… suffer enough d. finally settle d. sad! 

5 comments

Feb 20, '09 2:12 PM
for everyone
today 20 feb 2009, 3:14am. cant sleep. i go sunshine bar at heritage row to support eve just now...hmm got a luckly draw thr...u know how lucky am i,i get a lucky draw worth RM250 form Revlon but i dint get it in the end cos i am sit up stair so i am not enough time to go down and to claim my prize so just give to others 1...fate....the thing is yours 1 den is urs....i am really suprise when the MC call my name,u know there is  alot of pl thr. but the prizes is not mine in the end. haiz~~~~ i am dono wat should it say to me...luckly ? or unfortunate?

today i am msg him asking abt something, after that i am said" never mind thx". he reply me" ok u welcome" the sentences is really hurt me....really heartbreak... i am just felt he is not thinking want to solve this problem, he let me felt he already can put me down in his heart.... i am felt hurt , i am really sad...... suddenly i am felt in this world is so dark, so evil, so scary....how  i am  going to  get bk to him? how i am going to solve our problem??? any1 can guide me? any1 can help me? god can help me? how i am going to understand him if in this 5 years he never talk with me abt his friend, family, work's stuff, himself to me. never!!! he never have a nice talk with me or should say i never have a nice talk  with him. how i am going to understand him ???teach me!!! he know my thinking, my behaviour my attitude cos all the times i trying to talk with him nicely chat with him abt my thing like family, friend and my study's stuff. everything i am also let him know, who i am mingle with, who is confess on me, who ia going to approach me, i am told him everything of mine. why he cant?
why he dowan me know abt his thing,everything?is it again he will worried me will think others negative side or nonsense?then we will have a big fight or arguing thr?is an excuses?? why? a couple or lover is not should be sharing with each others,wont hiding something from each others, is not should be honest to each others??  why we will have a seriuos problem in our comunication? why we cant have a talk more than half an hours? i am a lot fo question for him d.  why he ask me dont ask him so many question and ask me dont always have so many questions for him. annoyance? disturbing?
4 comments

Feb 8, '09 1:15 AM
for everyone
today he return my insurance policy to me but is not him give it to me. he is asking his best friend to bring it to me .i am also return what he gave to me. i am so sad~~~ he is serious this time.. from this moment i am know he is serious this time. i am really felt hurt now, i am really felt sad now, i am really felt like wan to cry loudly, finally i am felt hurt and truly heartbreak from this moment because i know this time he really don't want me anymore, he no need me anymore.

feel so hurt and sad~~~~really heartbreak this time~~~start from 12nd September 2003 to 1st February 2009 ended our relationship. sob~~sob~~~
10 comments

Feb 4, '09 12:18 PM
for everyone
i hope he will come and find me back~~~sit down and solve the problem together i am really cant let it go for a 5 years relationship. i am really admit sometimes is my fault cos i am think nonsense and not trust on him, i am to easy to jealous and too easy to suspicious on him , but he really cant give me a secure feel on him and i am not so trust on him cos last time he lie me a lot of thing and he really good in lying ppl that why make me no confidence on him

i am really scared i will regret in future to lose him. maybe i am too love him d~~~he really hurt me a lot of times but i am still love him unless he dint cheating or betray on me and he don't know what i want from him. i am wishing he will give "a" flower not much jz 1 flower edi enough (5 years ++ together with him but he never ever give me even a leaf to me)is not the flower the main point is just a sweet moment and that moment he give me a flower that will make me remember forever and i want he is the 1st person give me flower i never receive a flower, and something present that can make me remember forever in my heart.

i wan he can give me a 安全感. i want he can love + sayang + care + protect me forever. i want he not too 大男人. i want he dont go hatyai or thailand without me (cos i dont believe a guy go there won't have sex with that prostitues) i want travel all the place with him. i want share everything of mine to him, i want he understand me. i want he can accept my bad and worse attiute and behaviour. i want he dont too mind to let me know his salary. i want he let me know everything that he think is can let me know ( i not request you to tell me everything like ur family stuff, that is ur privacy ) .i hope u will share everything with me ( dont worry after tell me will make me worry, angry or think others) i want he not to cheating ,hiding or lying on me. i want he will 体谅(forgive/ caring) me. i wan he know what i am done for him. i hope he will not "hiam"（xian qi) me fat and ugly and a lot a lot of thing.~~~

i am give him 1 month period if he stil dint come and find me that mean he is serious this time so i also will let it go after a month. that time is really end of our story in my life.


5 comments

Feb 2, '09 11:05 PM
for everyone

A girl wont cry easily,

Except in front of the person who she love the most, she becomes weak.

A girl wont cry easily, only when she love you the most, she put down her ego.

Guys, if a girl cries bcoz of you, please hold her hands firmly,
she's the one who would stay with you for the rest of your life.

Guys, if a girl cries bcoz of you, please don’t give her up,

maybe bcoz of your decision, you ruin her life.

When she cries rite in front of you,
When she cries bcoz of you,
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